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Carmen Colon

A New Year's Resolution

In July 1995 I began to experience a health concern that lasted until May 1996. For months I was in and out of the emergency room, and every time sent home without a diagnosis. My greatest fear was being diagnosed with Aids or Cancer. The week before Christmas I passed a half-dollar size blood clot and quickly made a doctor’s appointment. Within a week the test results confirmed my greatest fear “Colorectal Cancer.” I thought that I was sentenced to death. I was living life without direction, hope and structure and for months I was in deep thoughts examining my life, hardship, disappointments and unstable relationships. I couldn’t seem to find happiness.

As a little girl I always believed in God and that Jesus died on the cross for me (I was unaware of His extent). Now that little girl was grown up with three beautiful children. While celebrating the New Year it brought on many unsettled emotions; I couldn’t stop meditating on how fatal my sickness could be. It was then when I made a New Year’s Resolution: I said: “Lord Jesus, I am surrendering wholeheartedly my life and will over to you, do with me your perfect will.” On my knees begging for His forgiveness would be the new beginning of my relationship with Jesus. Mark 5:28, “because she thought, ‘If I just touch his clothes I will be healed.’”

Eighteen years later the battle of cancer had no victory over my life: I have been set free from the bondage of living a sinful lifestyle. Christ has helped me look for meaning, direction, hope and structure. He’s changed my attitude, pride and insecurities. For it’s in Him that I can be presented holy and sanctified. To be a Christian is God’s creation wanting the same grace and mercy that was bestowed upon you, to reach the unreachable sinner.