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Jina Bang

From Anger & Irritation to Joy & Contentment in Jesus Christ

Anti-patriarchy, anger, and irritation. These were my attitudes and feelings before I met Jesus. I was raised in patriarchal family. I was very irritated to hear about notions of preferring a son to a daughter and of defaming girls on every holiday when all extended family was gathering. In middle and high school, I competed against boys and wanted to prove my intelligence to the old generation that girls were better than boys. Even though I fulfilled my goals I always felt empty in my spirit and not delightful.

During college, a friend of mine suggested a Bible study. Personally I started the ten week Bible study with my friend because I was just curious, and thought that I could extend my knowledge with a Biblical perspective. However, the more I read the Bible and studied the meaning of the Scripture, the more I realized the truth of God as Creator and found my identity as a girl within Jesus’ love. One day during meditation, I could hear God’s voice say to me, “You are so precious, and you are my daughter.” I cried and cried seeing the Cross because I knew what the meaning was and that I was born again.

According to Isaiah, “Do not fear, I have summoned you by name; you are mine”. I am proud of myself as a daughter of God. I no longer live my life to be better than boys. Instead, I do my best in my life not to show myself but to serve God and others. I felt restraint and oppression under a conservative culture; instead as a daughter of God I can feel free in my Christian identity and Jesus’ love. According to the Bible, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). Today, I feel a warm heart, joy with everyone, and I feel content being myself within the love of God.