I grew up in a Christian home where my parents were preachers; everyone always assumes when you grow up in a certain lifestyle that everything is perfect. In reality that is not the case. My parents are wonderful Christian people who were as close to perfect in my eyes. That doesn’t make my life perfect. I wasn’t really shy, but personal. I always felt that personal information was to stay personal.
When I was a teenager my life was difficult, and I was determined to not show it, I just became angry without realizing it. I was sexually abused and didn’t want anyone to find out; I kept it a secret for so long I practically forgot about it. I was ashamed to do anything about it and to have anyone else know about it. I held onto my secrets for years and at the time I thought I didn’t matter, I was broken and unworthy of anything good, including God. I faked my whole life that I thought God loved me.
It wasn’t until I was married to my best friend and felt accepted that God showed me unconditional love through him. I began to think it was possible to be loved by God and remember the seed my parents had planted in my life even though I was bitter and angry. But it wasn’t until I had my daughter I truly believed it and accepted that what had happened was a part of me and His plan for me. The moment I held my daughter I knew there was true unconditional love, and God had it for me. That moment on I believed I had a future, I shared my story with my family, it was no longer a deep secret, for it was truth. Now I can say with honesty that God doesn’t care what has happened, he cares about me, loves me unconditionally and will fight for me.
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” —Psalms 34:18